Crazy Crossroads

Confusion swirled around me.  I could feel the suffocation slowly creeping up my throat.  It was an unfamiliar place.  I tried to re-frame this moment.  I tried to rationally think back to other crossroads I have stood at.  I tried to make sense of the choices in front of me.  I tried to clarify what life would look like on each of these different roads. 

I was paralyzed.  None of the choices seemed to make any sense.  None of the choices seemed to be better than the other.  Even the choice to do nothing but stand there was a choice.  I felt the Lord directing me, pulling me toward the least likely of the choices.  It seemed insane, but I could not deny the voice of the Lord.

Crossroads are crazy places.  When you glance each way, you really can only  see so far and then you have to trust.  Sometimes crossroads occur out of nowhere.  You are skipping along and BAM!  Truth be told, I always get slightly angry when this happens.  My thoughts usually run something like, "WHAT?  Who has the right to put one of these in my path?"  Honestly, someone is probably just trying to keep me safe, but I am short sighted and bent on my own ways.

I have to wonder what Noah was thinking when God told Him to build an ark.  This was a divinely placed crossroads in his life.  Was he confused?  He had to be thinking, "God, are you crazy? Rain...what is rain?  A what? For what?  Are you serious?  You want me to live in this boat with all these animal AND my family?"  Noah had clearly heard the Lord.  So regardless of his doubts and fears, he turned at this crossroads and obediently walked down the path God asked him to.  He built the ark and aren't we glad he did?  

This past summer I realized I was standing at a crossroads.  To be honest, it torqued me off.  I had been skipping along, having a marvelous time on the Big Island when....BAM!  There it was, directly in front of me.  An unexpected crossroads. He was asking me to send "MY" personal, extensive

collection of children's literature to the Sideras

International school in India.  I wish I could tell you that I just said, "Well Lord, of course."  But I would be lying.  I spent several days presenting my case to Him and finding lame excuses.  Finally, I rather meekly whispered, "Okay."  I didn't understand, but I did know that I had heard Him.  Upon my return home, I started packing up the books to send.  

Currently, I am still in the process of packaging and sending them.  It is expensive, even at book rate. Therefore, I am raising funds to get them there and into the hands of these precious Indian children. I am finding that this "choice" is costing me time and money.  It is also costing me a dream. I had always thought I would write and publish children's picture books.  Evidently, God has another plan and just like Noah, even though it makes no sense, I choose to walk in obedience.

Sometimes we have to let go of things that we think are important to who we are and what we do so that God can do something bigger.  Are you at a crossroads with Him whispering to you?  Follow His voice, you won't be sorry.

I am Journeying With You,
~The Plank-Eyed Girl