My mind is steeled into position. My will is firmly and tenaciously set to "NO"!. My heart is sufficiently shielded through my own efforts. My answer is "NO"! I proclaim, "I WILL NOT GO!"
Like a gentle, beautiful feather falling from the sky, He simply whispers, "You know, I love you." In this moment, there are no fireworks. There are no witnesses. There is just He and I and a simple request, "Please join me here for awhile." Like a three-year old child, I refuse to look into His face. Let's be real, it is not like He is asking me to go to Africa and eat bugs. He is just asking me to say "Yes" to helping with His work - feet and hands on the ground. Why am I so enticed by my own desire for comfort and what is familiar? Ugh!!!! My flesh is unrelenting.
I am standing in the worship gathering, only vaguely aware of others singing around me. He quietly and simply states, "You know, I love you." These words were palatable. I don't just "feel" them, I can taste them. They are sweet, and soothing, like frozen blackberry yogurt on hot summer day. They make their way to my stone heart. I can't stop them as they swirl and tenderly wrap themselves around my strong-willed heart. Suddenly, I am aware that my heart is starting to thaw.
Wrestling continues, time is passing and I am oblivious. It is now two o'clock in the afternoon. A new young friend has come by my studio. Words pour from her heart. Questions are sliding out and overlaying onto her own observations and understanding of how God works and communicates with her. She is a hungry pursuer of my Abba, we are discussing her gifts. Suddenly a pregnant pause finds space. It hangs in the air and seems to inflate with each moment. With ravenous intensity, she looks at me. I hear her quickly inhale and then boldly state, "You know!" My heart instantly pauses. The blush of blood rapidly spreads up my neck and around my cheeks. Her voice continues onto the next topic, but I am not listening, for He has spoken through her to make sure I heard Him.
Four o'clock presents itself and I find myself standing at the front door with her. She is utterly unaware that her words were His words today. He must've thought I wasn't listening. I watch her drive off without comprehension as to what has just taken place.
I escape to the shower and silently break. It is not pretty and I am undone by the audacity of my own stubbornness. Who do I think that I am to say "No!" to the one who made me? To the one who gave His ONLY son, so that I could be blameless, and free? To the Tatted Man that laid down upon that rough hewn wood and let them drive spikes into His wrists? It is then I let my eyes travel down His arms and read the tat on his pierced wrist...."The Plank-Eyed Girl". The audacity of me to chose to wrestle with the "Tatted Man".
He has reached into my world, with my name tatted onto His wrists and proclaimed His love for me, His daughter.
When you see your name on his wrists, may you know how much He loves you! May you say, "Yes" to whatever His request is.
Until we Chat Again,
The Plank-Eyed Girl
Like a gentle, beautiful feather falling from the sky, He simply whispers, "You know, I love you." In this moment, there are no fireworks. There are no witnesses. There is just He and I and a simple request, "Please join me here for awhile." Like a three-year old child, I refuse to look into His face. Let's be real, it is not like He is asking me to go to Africa and eat bugs. He is just asking me to say "Yes" to helping with His work - feet and hands on the ground. Why am I so enticed by my own desire for comfort and what is familiar? Ugh!!!! My flesh is unrelenting.
I am standing in the worship gathering, only vaguely aware of others singing around me. He quietly and simply states, "You know, I love you." These words were palatable. I don't just "feel" them, I can taste them. They are sweet, and soothing, like frozen blackberry yogurt on hot summer day. They make their way to my stone heart. I can't stop them as they swirl and tenderly wrap themselves around my strong-willed heart. Suddenly, I am aware that my heart is starting to thaw.
Wrestling continues, time is passing and I am oblivious. It is now two o'clock in the afternoon. A new young friend has come by my studio. Words pour from her heart. Questions are sliding out and overlaying onto her own observations and understanding of how God works and communicates with her. She is a hungry pursuer of my Abba, we are discussing her gifts. Suddenly a pregnant pause finds space. It hangs in the air and seems to inflate with each moment. With ravenous intensity, she looks at me. I hear her quickly inhale and then boldly state, "You know!" My heart instantly pauses. The blush of blood rapidly spreads up my neck and around my cheeks. Her voice continues onto the next topic, but I am not listening, for He has spoken through her to make sure I heard Him.
Four o'clock presents itself and I find myself standing at the front door with her. She is utterly unaware that her words were His words today. He must've thought I wasn't listening. I watch her drive off without comprehension as to what has just taken place.
I escape to the shower and silently break. It is not pretty and I am undone by the audacity of my own stubbornness. Who do I think that I am to say "No!" to the one who made me? To the one who gave His ONLY son, so that I could be blameless, and free? To the Tatted Man that laid down upon that rough hewn wood and let them drive spikes into His wrists? It is then I let my eyes travel down His arms and read the tat on his pierced wrist...."The Plank-Eyed Girl". The audacity of me to chose to wrestle with the "Tatted Man".
He has reached into my world, with my name tatted onto His wrists and proclaimed His love for me, His daughter.
When you see your name on his wrists, may you know how much He loves you! May you say, "Yes" to whatever His request is.
Until we Chat Again,
The Plank-Eyed Girl
