* Six Month Reminder

1:25 pm Facial distortions were occurring as I zipped down the highway a titch above the speed limit.  Topless and absorbing every ray of the sun syrup, I didn't want to arrive at my destination. Every since the "reminder" had arrived a few weeks back, I have been blocking these next few moments.  The "reminder" had been delivered by parcel post in a simple, white legal envelope.  From the moment I picked it up, I knew what it contained.  My naughty side considered throwing it out and ignoring the "invitation to return". Deep down though, I knew it was pointless.  The Mr. would find it and ask me about it.  Ugh!

1:30 pm Discovering a lovely spot for the little black thing to rest, I allowed myself the gift of a sacred second to deeply inhale and truly feel these "pre" appointment moments.  Every thing about these moments was being etched in my heart with indelible ink. The question flew through my mind, like a banner behind a plane, "Did I fully live these last six months?"  Slowly a panic rose from the pit of my stomach.  Trying to calm the fear that was attempting to hijack my mind, I went into robotic mode.  My hand reached for the door; my legs found the asphalt and within moments, I found myself giving my name to the "Stoic, Female Keeper of the Schedule" behind the counter.  

Quickly, I was whisked behind a heavy set of doors and told to disrobe.  Seems like just yesterday I was here.  Repeating every verse I know about fear, I pushed forward.   Completely aware that nothing about these next few moments would surprise my Father, and even more aware that He was orchestrating my life, (Yes, even these moments) complete vulnerability swirled inside of my heart.  

1:50 pm having had a certain part of my anatomy tugged, squished, and pulled on like a piece of pink taffy for the last twenty minutes, the nurse coldly stated, "Get dressed, the doctor wants to talk to you."  Trying to find the humor in this moment, I look down and I am sure one side is at least six inches longer than the other.  Lord, hopefully this is just my point of view and NOT reality.  Chuckling, I emerge and follow the century to the office.  She points to a chair. I assume that means that I am to sit.  Like a well-trained dog, I perch on chair eagerly looking at her for some hint of the results.  

2:00 pm news delivered, the door to the office closes and I am momentarily left alone to digest the news.  Gratefulness falls from my eyes and I search for a tissue to catch it in.  The nurse returns and asks what's wrong.  I can't even find my voice.  Six more months and maybe longer if the spots remain unchanged - a gift that was hoped for, but not promised.  

Tonight I am more aware than ever that the one who thought me up and knows everything about me, has given me a six month stay and quite possibly more :) .  May I continue to to be surrendered and focused on His purpose and plan instead of my own.  May I choose to live with intention, grace, and His love as the anchors for each day that I am given.

Until we Chat Again,
The Plank-Eyed Girl

Rain Soaked Wild Topless Woman

Stepping outside of the building that held me captive and suffocated for the last few hours, I pause and take in the beautifully warm late afternoon air.  I feel like a prisoner released after twenty years of solitary.  Have I said how much I hate meetings? Practically sprinting to my little black thing, I quickly drop the top and jump in. Keys in the ignition, I launch off to take the long way home.  Only seconds into this journey, a seriously heavy black cloud descends on our little bayside town.  Like a hawk descending and following it's prey, this gray mass seems to be traveling with me.  Humongous  rain splats drop, like seagull plops, from the sky.  My heart sinks. My mouth silently exclaims, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?"

My 51 year oldness instantly tries to convince my 17 year old self to pull over; put the top up; and do the responsible thing.  Lord, everything is going to be soaked!  Fortunately, the 51 year old loses and I throw my head back in a giggle so inflating that  I feel like I can fly.  That is when I realize the nice looking man in the Mercedes next to me is gawking.  I am being completely drenched by this warm liquid gift and all I can do is think about how fabulously wonderful this is!    Something about this feels like a gift from my Father.  He seems to be saying, "Just breath!"

I continue on my journey home.  Scooting around the end of the bay, the little black thing hugs the road and flies like a hummingbird that's had too much fake nectar.  I pull into the garage severely damp but with a heart that has been given space to breath and feel.  How does my Father know exactly what I need?  I wanted the sun, but He knew I needed a good soaking.  I love that the one who thought me up and placed me in my mother's womb knows me so intricately.  

Today, I will trust that His plans for my life are best even when they are contrary to what I think I need or want.  Thank you Jesus for a topless rain-soaked ride! 

Until We Chat Again,

The Plank-Eyed Girl