Metamorphosis

The layers wrap my body.  Necessary physical layers for the chilly place that I am currently residing.  I feel like a sheep that needs to be sheared.   I feel smothered.  I want to escape.  I want to pull off each layer and feel the warmth of the yellow orb on my skin. But, as I sit staring out the window, the realization that this is the start of the lengthy, wet season sinks in.  

Hum...on this flood-like day, so many questions are sashaying and twirling through my consciousness.  No answers....they are like a small army taking over new territory.  Relentless!  These questions are morphing into demands.  I can not seem to silence them.  Maybe it is time for a change of location?

My mind skitters all over the place and is desperately trying to re-frame this as a "season" to surrender to and relax in.  I should be comforted by the warmth that these layers bring.  Instead, I feel confined and stifled, like a mummy that isn't quite dead.

I have to wonder if this is how a caterpillar feels as it changes from one type of creature to another.  Does the caterpillar ever relax and let the change "just happen" or does it fight and struggle, feeling constrained and confined, resisting what is natural and will transform it into a delicate and stunning butterfly?

Maybe what I am feeling is not just related to the weather?  Could it be that I am starting the morphing process?    I am being drawn, like a firefly to the light and into a new, thrilling chapter of my life.  I have a feeling it will be VERY different from the life I have lived thus far.  Sitting here, I realize that each season which I have passed through has been a necessary stage of learning for this next chapter.  This is where my God-given passions collide with His plan and I get to watch lives changed.  I am goosebumpy thinking about it.  It scares me.  It excites me.  I could say, "no" but everything inside is screaming, "yes".  So, I will surrender to this metamorphosis.  I will put both of my hands into His and say, "I am yours to do with as you please."  

Stay tuned for a closer look as I journey through these next few months.  

Until we chat again,
The Plank-Eyed Girl