Self-Hate, Beauty, and Photo Shoots

Nervously they appeared, one by one.  Sometimes close together, maybe even in small groups. Others silently sliding in individually, making sure no one was around to observe this moment. Hesitantly they faced me.  My job was to capture an image of them.  Each participant displayed some degree of dread at this event.

Gently nudging them into the late afternoon soft light and using my words to encourage them, most eventually turn towards me and smile. Inevitably, these precious humans also express varying levels of disdain for their face and having their photo taken.  

As the afternoon wears on, my heart becomes heavier with each click and interaction.  Why do these precious humans not like what they look like?  Who has done this to them!!  Why have they let "others" define what beauty is and what it is not?

The afternoon seems to be slowly meandering forward.  I am consumed with these swirling thoughts.  I am attempting to slow each one and follow it to a logical ending.  It is like attempting to jump on the back of a dancing dragonfly on a warm summers evening.  Dutifully, I complete my afternoon activities and can hardly wait to arrive home.

Settling in for the night, I bring up each picture on the computer and allow myself to linger looking at it before cropping it for print. I imagine that I don't know these people or their stories.  Still, I am drawn to their faces.  Their faces are precious and simply beautiful. Looking in each of their eyes, there is so much story to be told.  I want to sit with each of them and hear their stories.  I want to hold space for them to be heard and for them to hear how simply beautiful they are and how I see them through the lens.  

Unfortunately, most of them won't allow this type of interaction.  It would be too uncomfortable for them.  So, I will write them personal notes thanking them for trusting me.  I will encourage them to value the gift of their face, for it was created by the Master Creator Himself.  When He completed it, I am sure He stood back and smiled. He had every type of feature, color, texture, and shape available to Him.  Yet, He chose exactly the intricate details He wanted each one of us to have. Each time, He was proud of His beautiful, one-of-a-kind creation.  

May you know that EVERY detail of your face and body was picked out by the Creator of the Universe.  NONE of it was a mistake!  Both He and I call you "Beautiful".

Until we Chat Again,

The Plank-Eyed Girl