Sojourner!

Stepping onto the jet off the volcanic heated tarmac, I could feel the rush of cold air hit my face.  As my feet slid over the thresh hold, I felt something rip from my chest.  In that instant, I knew something inside of me was bleeding.  Now, don't get me wrong, no one around me would've seen it, but I felt it deep inside of my being.  wkwardly I struggled with my backpack down the aisle.  I am not one of those graceful ones who manage to smoothly glide down the aisle and effortlessly pop their "storeables" into the overhead bin.  I am more like a pink polka-dotted elephant bumping and nudging my way to the seat; making apologies for my clumsiness as I go and desperately hoping not to drop anything on the innocent people who are seated on the aisle as I pass by.  Finding 23C, I proceeded to stuff all my earthly possessions (mostly electronics) under the seat in front of me.  Settling in, I closed my eyes.  Instantaneously, a pool of warm salty water collected in the corners of my eyes.  Fighting the ridiculousness of these wild emotions that seemed to be overtaking me, I became aware that there is a warm stream of liquid trickling down my cheeks.  Ugh!!!!  My mind was swirling and bouncing all over, "What in the world is going on!  This is completely ridiculous!  You are going home and will be back here in ten months.  You have two homes!"    As the plane raced down the runway, I was compelled to gaze out the tiny window.  I watched my Island Home disappear from view as we climbed to  the cruising altitude of 35,000 feet and headed north toward the mainland.  I was confused, very confused!   I was not sure why my heart was bleeding so profusely.   I should be delighted to be heading to my mainland home.  Silly me, I was trying to sooth my emotions by telling myself that in ten months I will be returning.  Nothing was working.  The tears seemed to be like a faucet that was stuck on.