Spotted Zebra and Barbies

Standing up on the bleachers, I watched as a group of junior high girls caught up with each other from the week.  They were passionately engaged in their conversation. What caught my attention was their alikeness!  They all had their hair alike. Their shirts were all the same style.  Their jeans all the same brand.  They couldn't have been more uniform if they had tried.  Not one of them stood out.  As I watched their interactions, I was saddened by their "alikeness". Certainly they didn't ALL like this style.  I was deeply disturbed to think of  the pressure to conform that most of us feel when we look at T.V. or go to the mall and are pummeled with the expectations of others for our dress, actions, or any other number of things.   Sometimes I feel like I live in a Barbie and Ken world, of which I severely do not fit.

As I sauntered away from this group of young girls, my thoughts drifted back to my first years of teaching.  I was "gifted" quite a few long "themed" jumpers.  Evidently, that was the dress of choice for teachers at the time.  The first morning I silently slide into one. I felt suffocated.  (Not physically, just in my heart.)I looked in the mirror and laughed out loud.  However, I was not sure of the protocol, so I wore it to school. This initiation into "school dress" only lasted about one month.  I was TOTALLY miserable.  Long "themed" jumpers weren't me. Never had been me.  Never would be me.  In hindsight, I can't believe I ever thought it was a good idea for me.  One morning I woke up and thought, I can't teach in these things.  This is not me!  Where are my jeans and red cowboy boots? Where are my wild leggings and funky skirts?  Where are my pearls?  Where are my shiny combat boots?

   

As today wore on, I found my mind prancing back

to the story that I had just finished in I Samuel 17. David, who was a young shepherd,  had volunteered to go fight Goliath.  Saul gave David his own armor to wear and sword to use.  This way, he would not only look like one of the men in Saul's army, but he would stand out because Saul's armor and sword were bronze.  I am sure that Saul wanted to protect David, as well as honor him.  David tried it on, but quickly realized that he was not used to this armor or Saul's sword.  So, he did the only thing he knew to do and took it off.  Donning his regular attire, he went and picked up five smooth stones.  Those were his weapons of choice.  Those were the weapons he had trained with.  Those were who he was and what he was used to.

Recently, I was asked to lead a conversation at a women's retreat. I have some own favorite speakers, that I really admire. So, when I became stuck in the writing process, I started listening to some of their messages. That was when I found myself trying to emulate them.  Suddenly,  I realized that I could listen all I wanted, but I needed to be true to who I was and how God created me.  In other words, I needed  to unite my story with His story and share it with this group of ladies in a way that was unique to me. This was a realization that relieved much of my internal pressure. 

Uniqueness Rocks!  I have been a spotted zebra all of my life.  I have never fit in a box.  My solutions to things that block my path are usually completely outside of how others would think.  I do not dress like others.  I have a funny way of looking at life.  I was uniquely created by the Creator of the Universe.  

May you find your own uniqueness today and enjoy all that is you!  May others also see God's fingerprints in you and celebrate how fabulous and generous God is to have taken the time to "think you up"!

Here's to you!  You are not alone!

~The Plank-Eyed Girl

FB Life Versus Authenticity

FB Life versus Authenticity

Frustration mounted.  My head started to pound. My stomach started to swirl.  I wanted to pick up the phone and back out of the commitment I had agreed to.  At the least, I desperately wanted to take the easy way out and speak to an easier topic.  I was coming up empty handed with how to address the topic I was asked to speak to.  

So....I did what any other person would do.  I opened my ipad and started perusing FB (Facebook).  Normally, I enjoy these peeks into others lives. I delight in being able to stay connected through words and photos. However, today I seemed to be ultra aware that all these lives seemed "perfect".  Pictures were of people having fun.  Everyone seemed to be smiling and enjoying life.  It made me a titch crazy.   

Closing my ipad and continuing my wrestling practice with the impending topic, I glanced at the clock.  Yikes!  Only 14 hours and I would need to have something solidified.  Once again, my mind started to run for the door.  As it was rapidly reviewing my "valid" excuse list, something whispered to my heart, "Don't run.  I will give you strength and words."  If I chose, relief could be only a phone call away.  Ugh!  Why did I believe I was strong enough emotionally to do this? Deciding not to make the call I dropped into bed.  

Throughout the night, I flopped like a fish.  Odd dreams coursed through my head.  As morning neared, panic was rising, like a ravenous dog chasing a meaty bone. It was slowly suffocating any hope that I had of saying anything intelligent.  Desperately, I called out to my Father asking for just a tidbit of direction for this assignment.  As the first light of morning peaked through the window, I finally gave up. Struggling to my feet, I got myself up.  Grabbing something comfortable, I dressed and headed out the door to my local coffee shop. Maybe a change of scenery would release something.

Retrieving my nourishment and liquid, I found a table in the corner.  Settling in, I heard my Father's ever gentle whisper.  Inhaling and exhaling, relief washed over my mind and I audibly giggled. Catching myself giggling only made me smirk more.  I am such a silly plank-eyed girl.  Of course, He would show up and deliver.  When will I learn this lesson?  He NEVER abandons me and He ALWAYS comes through.  

Perched on my chair and sipping my lovely beverage; I let my fingers fly over the keyboard and bring to life the words He was speaking to my heart.  Words to His precious daughters. Words of authenticity.  Words of  struggle.  Words of  hope. Words that will allow my fellow sojourners to realize that they are not alone and we are all traveling together.

What is the Lord asking you to do that you are hesitant to accept?  Growth begins at the end of our comfort zones.  Why not accept the offer of His help and step out, trusting that He will provide everything you need to accomplish what He is asking you to do.  

Here is my hand friend, take it and together we will walk.   

Until we Chat Again,
The Plank-Eyed Girl

If you would like to share what the Lord is asking you to do, please either leave me a message or e-mail me at:  theplankeyedgirl@gmail.com 

Toplessness and Little Sisters

Going topless is always my preferred mode for driving.  Ever since my Mr. brought my little black thing home, I have enjoyed the freedom of zipping along without a covering.  It is a small fix for my inexplicable need to fly.  As the wind courses and swirls around me, it increases my ability to breath and process life.

Monday evening had a hint of Fall coolness in the air, it was no different from any other evening other than my heart was feeling squished.  I decided to go topless, so I jumped in the Miata, revved up the pistons and headed out to another meeting.  As I sped along the nicely curvy, slightly changing, tree-lined road, my heart was asking my Father to show up tonight at this meeting.  (Okay, truth be told, I was more like loudly pleading and pounding on the steering wheel.  I was being selfish because He is always with me, but I just really wanted to have Him make himself evident.) 

Arriving at the meeting, I slid in, grabbed a water and engaged in the cultural chit chat.  The meeting commenced and throughout it, I wrestled with an extremely strong, internal dialogue which questioned why I was there and told me I had "nothing" to contribute. You know, sometimes you just have to put yourself on the wall and have a talk with yourself, which is what I was attempting, but it was not getting me anywhere.  Thankfully, during the meeting, no one called on me for any kind of coherent answer, due to the fact that I was having my own party in my head.  As the meeting concluded, I thanked the hostess and made my escape out the front door.  

Sauntering down the driveway, I had the company of one of my little sisters. (I baby sat her when I was a teenager and our parents are best friends still.)  Standing out on the road, we paused and she looked me in the eyes and said, "I don't know why I am feeling compelled to share this with you, but I am."  I conversed with her over the course of the next hourish.  She spoke of the last three weeks and miracle, after miracle, after miracle of our Father's provisions for their family.  She spoke of how her faith has increased and her ability to hear His voice. She told of her immense gratefulness for so many things she used to take for granted.  She explained how her heart had been permanently changed.  Her stories made my heart dance and my eyes leak.  Her stories re-inflated this soul.  

Thank you, my precious little sister, for allowing me to hear and see God working right here and inside of you and your family.  

Sometimes one needs to go topless to re-inflate, other times, one just needs a sister to stand under the stars with and recount how God is working. 

Until we Chat Again,

The Plank-Eyed Girl

Sojourner!

Stepping onto the jet off the volcanic heated tarmac, I could feel the rush of cold air hit my face.  As my feet slid over the thresh hold, I felt something rip from my chest.  In that instant, I knew something inside of me was bleeding.  Now, don't get me wrong, no one around me would've seen it, but I felt it deep inside of my being.  wkwardly I struggled with my backpack down the aisle.  I am not one of those graceful ones who manage to smoothly glide down the aisle and effortlessly pop their "storeables" into the overhead bin.  I am more like a pink polka-dotted elephant bumping and nudging my way to the seat; making apologies for my clumsiness as I go and desperately hoping not to drop anything on the innocent people who are seated on the aisle as I pass by.  Finding 23C, I proceeded to stuff all my earthly possessions (mostly electronics) under the seat in front of me.  Settling in, I closed my eyes.  Instantaneously, a pool of warm salty water collected in the corners of my eyes.  Fighting the ridiculousness of these wild emotions that seemed to be overtaking me, I became aware that there is a warm stream of liquid trickling down my cheeks.  Ugh!!!!  My mind was swirling and bouncing all over, "What in the world is going on!  This is completely ridiculous!  You are going home and will be back here in ten months.  You have two homes!"    As the plane raced down the runway, I was compelled to gaze out the tiny window.  I watched my Island Home disappear from view as we climbed to  the cruising altitude of 35,000 feet and headed north toward the mainland.  I was confused, very confused!   I was not sure why my heart was bleeding so profusely.   I should be delighted to be heading to my mainland home.  Silly me, I was trying to sooth my emotions by telling myself that in ten months I will be returning.  Nothing was working.  The tears seemed to be like a faucet that was stuck on.

Florescent Orange, Papaya Yellow, and Spots

Excitement coursed through every fiber of my body as I realized I was waking up in my own bed. I had not slept in my bed for over 50 nights.  Plus, today I was to get my hair cut and re-spotted.  

Bounding from my bed, my feet sunk into the sweet succulent cream carpet.  It caused me to pause slightly and really take in my new reality.  I was not on an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, instead I was in Washington and EVERYTHING was different.  Wow! 

Continuing to my closet, I was completely taken with how many clothes I had to choose from.  (I have lived with only a few clothing options for the summer and was totally fine with it.)  Standing there, I felt like a queen!  So many fun and colorful types of clothes and shoes.  Truth be told, I almost put on my hot pink combat boots with my shorts today, but decided that it might be a little much for our small, northwest community. Anyway, I slid into the same denim shorts I had spent most of the summer in; grabbed a shirt from the closet;  found my flip flops; and was on my way.

The feel of sliding into the drivers seat of my little black thing and starting the ignition after not driving for the summer is extremely exhilarating for my being!  I couldn't help but grin as I zipped down the boulevard; around the bay and into the sleepy town of Silverdale.  

Arriving at the salon, I settled into the stylist's chair and celebrated the odd comfort of the familiarity. My "short" hair was long for me and I could hardly wait to have it re-spotted and buzzed.  The stylist proceeded to pull my dried out, wiry hair through the cap and apply the bleach.  The process seemed to be going along normally.  She moved me to the dryer and heated it up.  As I sat there, I lost track of time.  My eyes were heavy.  Sleep wrapped itself around me and I welcomed it.  Being in that sleep like state, I was only vaguely aware of the stylist, checking my locks several times.  I was oddly in a mild state of euphoria.   

Not aware of how much time had passed or how many times she had checked my head, I found myself suddenly in the focal point of a flurry of activity in which the entire salon was involved. Evidently, 45 minutes had gone by and my hair was, well...shall we say....having difficulty accepting the bleach.  In fact, it had turned florescent orange.  On my first glimpse of it,I started laughing hysterically.  You see, I don't think it would be that bad to go back to school with florescent orange hair.  The kids would LOVE it and it would just confirm to the staff that I truly was a spotted-zebra.  

The stylist was now rapidly applying a variety of products to my hair. Additionally, all of her "salon buddies" were trying to give her advice.  It was quite comical.  Just a side note, she had done my hair for over ten years and is an amazing stylist. Anyway, she finally got it toned down to a papaya yellow.  Completely perplexed, she kept saying, "I did EVERYTHING like I always do.  I don't know what is wrong."   

As I was sitting there watching all the drama and pondering the situation, I dawned on me that yesterday morning, while still on the Big Island, I didn't have any shampoo, so I used the antibacterial liquid hand soap.  Now, you need to know that I am a very low maintenance plank-eyed  girl. It didn't even cross my mind that I should mention this to her BEFORE she started my hair appointment.  Meekly, I barely whispered, "Do you think that antibacterial liquid hand soap could cause this?"   Instantly, a stillness overtook the room. Every eye seemed to turn at once toward me.  Suddenly, I couldn't contain my giggles and I just exploded in laughter.  I couldn't believe how serious everyone was.  I proclaimed, "Oh my, it is ONLY hair!"  Laughter erupted and as a wave of relief washed over that salon.  

Thank goodness for google.  After searching several sites, a solution was produced and my hair adventure was finished up.  She cut it nice a short, shaved the back so that my spots showed and breathed a sigh of relief.  

Several times this afternoon, as I have snickered and pondered this epic hair episode.  I have thought about how I, as a daughter of the creator of the Universe, am covered with a protective layer of His warm and fabulous love.    It was a free gift to me on the day I handed over my sins and He placed them on Jesus.  It is a coating that no man can remove.  The best part is that nothing can stick to it. It is transparent, just like the "stuff" in the antibacterial liquid hand soap, but it changes EVERYTHING!  My hair was changed by the coating of something in the antibacterial soap.  My heart was changed by the gift of God's love.  An amazing, completely undeserved gift for this plank-eyed girl who doesn't deserve a magnificent gift such as this.

Careful what you wash in today, it could change everything.

Until we chat again,
The Plank-Eyed Girl

Sideways Glances, Moray Eels, and a Wanna-Be Mermaid

Silently I slid through the water,  weightless and wide-eyed.  Just a plastic tube allowing me to survive in this underwater world.  Warm tepid water surrounding my body.  My eyes taking in the absolutely majestic scenery below me.  I LOVE this feeling. Sometimes I think I should've been born a mermaid.  Okay, I know that they don't really exists, but just humor this plank-eyed girl.

Have you ever felt like there is sound everywhere but you are not able to hear anything?  Sliding through the deliciously warm Pacific Ocean with my ears underwater, I was aware that all these creatures were communicating in ways that I could not hear (for the most part) or even understand.  I have heard recordings of Killer whales calling to each other so there was some previous knowledge rolling around in my head.  

I was mesmerized by all the stunning colors and living creatures zipping around below me.  For some reason, whenever I am in the water like this, I pretty much only look down.  I had been in this down-ward gazing mode for probably a good 25 minutes when I suddenly became aware that something rather large was right next to me.  I quickly grabbed a side-way glance and realized that within a few inches of my head, there was a rather large turtle swimming next to me.  As I turned my head, our eyes locked.  It did not seem to be surprised or scared of me.  I was the one who was surprised.  We swam together for about four minutes.  I was entranced by the strength and grace of this creature.  Questions peppered my head like bullets hitting a target during target practice.  Where had it come from?  How did it sneak up on me?  Did it choose to come so close because it was curious?  Wow!  I was thankful and grateful for this encounter.  As this magnificent creature pulled away, I knew that I had been given a gift.  

Only a few moments lapsed when suddenly I was taken by a beautiful, five foot, red with white polka-dotted, snake-like creature.  I followed above this amazing creature as it made it's way gracefully along the bottom of the sea floor.   I am not sure just how much time had gone by when I realized that I was probably not being smart or safe. (Turns out, it was a spotted moray eel.  Oopsy!)  These stunning moments will certainly be forever etched in my heart with indelible ink.  

Four days have come and gone since those  magical moments in the Pacific.  Often times I am so focused on what I am doing in my day-to-day journey on this planet that I am unaware that my Creator is right next to me and is waiting for me to turn my head to see His face.  

May you turn your head and see your maker adoring you, His marvelous creation!

Until we chat again,
The Plank-Eyed Girl

Facial Management (or lack of)

Strolling down Ali'i Drive one Sunday during a street fair, there were tons of people to watch. My eyeballs seemed to be darting from person to person taking in all the colors, sights, and sounds. Street fairs are horribly distracting places for us who are easily distracted.  Anyway, I was giggling to myself as I took in all these fun and colorful individuals.  It was pure and simple amusement.   I often think God giggles when He sits and watches us.  

That was when it happened.  An extremely pale; approximately 60 year old; distinguished looking gentleman rolled by.  On any "normal" business workday in the states, I am sure he would've not have stood out in a crowd.  However, as my eyes took it all in, I literally felt an explosive belly laugh episode starting deep inside me. As it was exploding upward through my body, I started to panic because I was totally aware that this was inappropriate, but I am pretty sure God was smiling too.  For those of you that have never been to Hawaii, let me share a little secret with you.  The Hawaiian Islands are stunningly beautiful, but they seem to bring out characteristics in us "mainlanders" that wouldn't normally come out.  Enough said about that. Anyway, this distinguished gentleman was sporting a high-waisted Speedo, with white socks and roller skates.  He obviously, at some point in his younger years had been a good skater. His skin had not seen the sun in a few decades and those days of a toned body had escaped him and settled around his mid section.  The topper was, he had ear buds in and was singing to a song as he rolled down through the crowds thoroughly enjoying himself.  I did notice he had a wedding ring on, but the Mrs's was no where to be seen.  All I could think was, "Oh my!  How did he get out of the hotel room?  Surely his wife does not know he escaped."  Suddenly I heard myself producing a stifled giggle.  This is the type of giggle that as one tries  desperately to control it, it explodes.  

Okay, truth be told, I was not the only one having difficulty with facial management.  Please understand, this was not a giggle of judgement, it was a giggle of admiration.  You see, I too, am a "spotted zebra."  I don't want to be like anyone else and I severely dislike it when people copy me.  This was just a "spotted zebra" of an entirely different tribe.

"Facial Management"  What a funny term.  In fact, just saying is makes me smirk.  Maybe I smirk because I am not equipped with this skill, no matter how much I try or practice.  You know, some people have an amazing ability to "manage" their face.  They are actually quite gifted in this area. Unfortunately, I am not one of these people. I have even tried practicing in the bathroom mirror.

I don't really try to watch people, but truly people are fascinating to me.  People's actions usually stand out to my kinistic awareness.  Sometimes it is their voices or what people are saying grab my auditory attention.  Mostly though, to be honest, it is their appearance that leaps to my eyeballs and holds my visual acuity.  I LOVE variety.  I think God delights in variety.  He purposely made us, His prized creation, in His image.  His image is stamped on each one of us.  We are as varied as the grains of sand on the beaches of this world.  We are made to be unique, by the Master Creator of the Universe.   Today, let's celebrate and enjoy our differences.

Until we chat again,
The Plank-Eyed Girl