Prostitute, Tax Man, LGBT, and Me

Innocently, the "Lady with Scissors" nonchalantly asks, "So, who are you?"  As I sit perched in the salon chair, I feel like a little hummingbird, with a hawk swooping overhead waiting to snag me for a snack.  Nothing comes out. My mind is suddenly on steroids zinging all over the place! No coherent answer seems to be able to form. I start to panic.  Temporary paralyzation is occurring.  I am sure the contorted look on my face is one that is not easily replicated.  

How could one simple question make my panties bunch up so quickly? The "Lady with Scissors" continues snipping my hair.  I can't blame her.  She is just trying to make small talk; to make the awkward silence pass.  Truly though, she is not interested.  So, why am I so paralyzed?  

An hour later, as I analyze this entire event, I am aware that I could've given her any number of simple, one or two word answers - Teacher, Librarian, Daughter, Mom, Friend, Spotted Zebra, etc., but on this day, in this moment, I just couldn't.  So I said nothing and sat there with salty, hot tears streaming down my cheeks. Instantly a selective mute. (Funny how quickly the haircut is over when silence sets in and the tears start.)

It isn't that I don't know who I am or what I have been called to do.  It is just that I suddenly realized that none of these "labels or titles" really matter in life and death.  So, I sit here asking myself some daunting questions, "How do I live without my own labels and without giving others labels?" "How do I love my neighbor without any of the labels?"  

My ponderance leads me to my most favorite, soft brown leather book. I love the way this book sits in my hands.  It lays open perfectly and brings life to my soul.  My eyes fall to the words, and I have my answer. 

I am to simply love the one who created me and love my "Neighbor". I pause for a moment to let it soak all the way in. He is implying that my "Neighbor" is EVERYONE else - no labels, just people.  

Jesus loved the lady prostitute that the religious elite were going to stone to death.  He protected her.  He ate with the tax collector, before the tax collector knew he would want his sins forgiven. He restored the soldier's ear, the one who had come to take him as a prisoner and to His death.  This is who Jesus called His "Neighbor".  This is who Jesus loved. This is who I am invited to love. His love has no "labels or titles". It is offered to EVERY human without judgement.

My Jesus is for the broken and hurting. Religion says, "Change first and then come."  Jesus says, "Come and let me love you."  He has invited me to be His hands and feet on this amazing adventure of loving people. He offers me the opportunity to love humans the way He loves me.  

So, when you see me hug and eat with my LGBT friends; or the prostitute who just "got off work"; or the biker lady that wanders in; or any other human, please know that I am loving them with the incredible love that has been extended to me and forever changed my life.  

Until We Chat Again,
The Plank-Eyed Girl

Audacious Wrestling With the Tatted Man!

My mind is steeled into position.  My will is firmly and tenaciously set to "NO"!.  My heart is sufficiently shielded through my own efforts. My answer is "NO"!  I proclaim, "I WILL NOT GO!"  

Like a gentle, beautiful feather falling from the sky, He simply whispers, "You know, I love you."    In this moment, there are no fireworks.  There are no witnesses.  There is just He and I and a simple request, "Please join me here for awhile." Like a three-year old child, I refuse to look into His face.  Let's be real, it is not like He is asking me to go to Africa and eat bugs. He is just asking me to say "Yes" to helping with His work - feet and hands on the ground.  Why am I so enticed by my own desire for comfort and what is familiar?  Ugh!!!!   My flesh is unrelenting.

I am standing in the worship gathering, only vaguely aware of others singing around me. He quietly and simply states, "You know, I love you." These words were palatable.  I don't just "feel" them, I can taste them. They are sweet, and soothing, like frozen blackberry yogurt on hot summer day. They make their way to my stone heart. I can't stop them as they swirl and tenderly wrap themselves around my strong-willed heart.   Suddenly, I am aware that my heart is starting to thaw.

Wrestling continues, time is passing and I am oblivious.  It is now two o'clock in the afternoon. A new young friend has come by my studio.  Words pour from her heart.  Questions are sliding out and overlaying onto her own observations and understanding of how God works and communicates with her.  She is a hungry pursuer of my Abba, we are discussing her gifts.  Suddenly a pregnant pause finds space. It hangs in the air and seems to inflate with each moment.  With ravenous intensity, she looks at me. I hear her quickly inhale and then boldly state, "You know!"   My heart instantly pauses.  The blush of blood rapidly spreads up my neck and around my cheeks.  Her voice continues onto the next topic, but I am not listening, for He has spoken through her to make sure I heard Him.

Four o'clock presents itself and I find myself standing at the front door with her.  She is utterly unaware that her words were His words today.  He must've thought I wasn't listening.  I watch her drive off without comprehension as to what has just taken place.

I escape to the shower and silently break.  It is not pretty and I am undone by the audacity of my own stubbornness.  Who do I think that I am to say "No!" to the one who made me?  To the one who gave His ONLY son, so that I could be blameless, and free?   To the Tatted Man that laid down upon that rough hewn wood and let them drive spikes into His wrists?  It is then I let my eyes travel down His arms and read the tat on his pierced wrist...."The Plank-Eyed Girl".  The audacity of me to chose to wrestle with the "Tatted Man".  

He has reached into my world, with my name tatted onto His wrists and proclaimed His love for me, His daughter. 

When you see your name on his wrists, may you know how much He loves you!  May you say, "Yes" to whatever His request is.  

Until we Chat Again,
The Plank-Eyed Girl