The Plank-Eyed Girl: Demotion, Tornados, and Truth

The Plank-Eyed Girl: Demotion, Tornados, and Truth: 3:47pm!  Unplugging the last of the white Christmas lights, I head to the library door.  My arms are full and I am struggling with my car...

Demotion, Tornados, and Truth

3:47pm!  Unplugging the last of the white Christmas lights, I head to the library door.  My arms are full and I am struggling with my car keys.  Stepping out into the hall, I hear a familiar voice explode, "Hello, Mrs. O!" I freeze. Looking at this young man standing in front of me, I know the voice but I don't recognize the face.  We stand in awkward silence.  Then, like a lightning bug that comes out of nowhere at dusk, his name makes its way onto my tongue. "Matthew!"  His smile could light up Safeco Field.  

Small talk is exchanged for several minutes. Quite unexpectedly he pauses, fidgets and then seems to summons courage from deep inside.  He audibly inhales; fixes his eyes on mine; and lets loose with a barrage of questions, "Why did you leave teaching and become the librarian?  You changed my life and the lives of so many students.  Did someone make you leave?  Did something happen?"  His words hit me like a machine gun.   I am momentarily speechless.  

Maybe this wouldn't have put me in a spin, but this is the third student that has come back to visit me this week.  Each one asking similar questions. Their perception is that being a librarian/media specialist is NOT being a teacher.  In fact, a couple of them even voiced that they thought it was a "demotion".  In years past, I would've defended my choice.  I LOVE words; books; and igniting a passion for reading, as well as writing, in students.  Four years ago, I thought moving to the library would give me that opportunity. It would give me a wider audience.  In the beginning it did. Unfortunately, now I only get to spend about 20% of my day enjoying reading and books with kids and the rest is taken up with "other" tasks.  

6:06pm!   Darkness has enveloped the land that I am standing on.  My thoughts are swirling and colliding like that of the inner vortex of a freshly spawned tornado.

As I journey through this evening, I can not seem to settle.  The reality is the interior spinning speed is picking up.  Normally, these types of comments roll off of me.   Unable to settle down and focus on creating, I finally run the white flag up and surrender for the night.  The safety of my bed is beckoning me.  

Before dawn even spatters the sky, I am pulled upright. The peace and safety of my sleep has pulled a Houdini.  My heart is beating faster than a hummingbirds.  Steadying my breathing, I become aware that truth is pouring out of my being in a quiet whisper. Like a cup of warm chia on a chilly night, the words that have embedded themselves into my being over the years from my

leather-bound book, bring a comforting warmth and much needed answers to the destructive tornado that has spawned. As they come pouring out of my mind and across my lips, peace starts to descend. 

  

"Plank-Eyed Girl, you bring me joy.  Before you were even born, I knew you because I thought you up and created you.  Every moment of your life, I have laid out.  Nothing has escaped me.  I am arranging your journey according to my purposes for your life.  There is no where you find yourself that I have not orchestrated and allowed.  Plank-Eyed Girl,  you make good plans, but I have something so much better for you.  I AM GUIDING YOUR FEET!   You can trust me, I am reliable."  

These words are stringing together like beautiful , peaceful, sparkly white Christmas lights .  They are wrapping themselves around me like I am a Christmas tree.  They bring an assurance that I am exactly where He has chosen for me, in the library as a librarian, writer, and speaker.  My soul breathes deeply and a calmness wraps itself around me, like an extra soft fuzzy blanket.  

May you find yourself wrapped in a extra cozy soft blanket of His presence.  May you know that He has orchestrated plans for you that are far better than what you could dream up.  Let the truth of His words wash over you during this holiday season.

Until We Chat Again,

The Plank-Eyed Girl

Prov. 16:9  We can make our plans, but the lord determines our steps.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 

Ps. 139:16 You saw me before I was born.  Every day of my life was recorded in your book.  Every moment was laid out  before a single day had passed.

The Plank-Eyed Girl: Unexpected Gifts, Dead Goats, and No Cancelation P...

The Plank-Eyed Girl: Unexpected Gifts, Dead Goats, and No Cancelation P...: Sometimes my eyes are open, but I do not really see.  Today, I am determined to see.  Grabbing my camera, I step out of the comfortable...

Unexpected Gifts, Dead Goats, and No Cancelation Possibilities

Sometimes my eyes are open, but I do not really see.  Today, I am determined to see.  Grabbing my camera, I step out of the comfortable, cozy hotel and onto cold concrete sidewalk.  Frigid air swirls around my being and dances away on the wind taking with it all the dead and dried out leaves from the previous season.  There is no mistake that this morning, Winter has made its arrival and has no intention of leaving anytime soon.

Glancing down, mid-stroll, I freeze. Like a computer generated game character, time stands still for me. One brilliant, colby colored tender leaf lays at my feet.  It is surrounded by dirt y brown, rusty, and golden dried out leaves ready to be collected and made into mulch. Not able to stop myself, my hand reaches down and scoops it up.  How did this one leaf escape death so far?   Could it be that I saw it because I purposely set out to "see" today?

I have been alive 19,119 days and I have to wonder what all I have missed because I did not really "see".  I have been blinded and lulled to sleep by bright lights; my own swirling thoughts; and the splendor of sparkly and colorful things that flash before my eyes on the screen.  Yikes!  I will never get to relive those days and all I have missed.

Can I be honest?  I often don't really "hear" either. I read the print in my leather bound book and I don't really "hear" any application to my life? Story after story of weird and even distorted events and people.  You know the stories I am speaking of... a man being swallowed by a whale and spewed out onto a beach?  Another one where an ass speaks to a person out on a road? You get the picture.  How am I suppose to understand these things that happened so long ago?

As I carefully pick my steps this evening on my chilly stroll, I am focusing on "hearing".  My ears are hearing the spoken words coming through the tangle of white wires attached to my ears, but am I really "listening"? As usual, I feel like I am hearing rocks in a rock tumbler.  In the flicker of time that it takes for a snake's tongue to taste the air, I "hear" and understand what is being transmitted through the wires.  It is as if someone has taken my ears off "mute" and there is a voice coming through loud and clear.  I can not shake the reality of this hearing.  It sticks to my consciousness the way honey sticks to the spoon.  

We often hear about "covenants".  Maybe you've even made a covenant with someone.  Maybe you've kept it or maybe your good intentions just didn't work out.  God made a covenant with Abram and this covenant is for me too.  In Genesis, He told him to bring a heifer, goat, ram, turtledove, and a pigeon; kill them; cut them down the middle and lay the halves side by side. (Honestly, a pretty gross visual and I am glad He did not ask me to do this!  Yuck! ) In Abram's time, there were several types of covenants, but the most binding was of blood and it was formalized by the both parties passing between the divided halves of the sacrificed animals. When God told Abram to sacrifice those animals and lay their halves side by side, God alone passed between them.  Thus, it is God alone who keeps this covenant.  We contribute nothing to our salvation.  The keeping of this covenant with us is completely dependent on God.  The only thing we have to offer is our trust.

Twenty four hours has passed and still the message is stuck inside of my head like a fly stuck to fly paper.  I can not shake it. I can not cancel this covenant.  I have no rights to this covenant. It is offered to me freely.  

Tonight, I wish we were sitting across from each other in a coffee shop. Tonight, I would look you in the eyes and dare you to really "see".  Tonight, I would gently encourage you to silence your inner noise and really "hear" what our Abba is saying. Ask Him to allow your ears to be open and your eyes to really see.  You might be surprised at what He has for you.  

Until we Chat Again,
The Plank-Eyed Girl