Embracing the Adventure

An uncomfortable hush fills the space I am in.  A distinct rumble starts to invade the air and I find an odd comfort in it.  I can feel my body being pushed and held flat against the fake, blue leather chair I am perched in. A double ding clearly provides permission to connect to the wireless outside world.  This is the tenth time in the last 365 days I have lived this.  Each time I am utterly elated and simultaneously mystified.

Strangers surround me in this incredibly heavy, long metal tube.  They sit within inches of me.  My mind races wondering where they are headed and why?  Together, we are journeying to thesame geographic   island, yet no words are spoken and no eye contact is made.  40,000 feet up above the soil and water that comprise the planet on which I reside, I silently converse with God about all that I am leaving behind to embrace an adventure that I have no control over.

On this day, I am leaving behind so many things that define me.  This realization peppers my reality.  I am ultra aware that when I awake tomorrow, no one will know or care what I do for a living.  No one will know or care for whom I work.  No one will know or care whose mom, wife, or daughter I am.  I will be part of a mix from all over this terra firma that is merging together to worship and serve.

On this day, I am leaving behind so many things that bring me security.  My cozy yellow cottage, so warm and welcoming.  My black and currently topless vehicle that allows me the freedom to go where ever I desire.  My "studio" that is filled with precious childrens books, as well as, gleaned and foraged art supplies. But most of all, oddly enough, I am leaving behind my favorite, gently-used yellow cardigan.

On this day, I am leaving behind many people that are embedded in my heart.  The "Precious One".    The "Gentle One".  The "Humble One".  But most of all, I am leaving behind many "seasoned" friends yet to be introduced to you.

Today, I release all these "things" that I am leaving behind. With one hand, I timidly slide it into my Creators and with the other, I hold it out and wide open to embrace this advenure in front of me and pick up the new discoveries.

Come with me as I journey.  My writing might not be perfect and clean but I promise to share my heart and authenticity as I skip through these next seven weeks.

He's got this.

Until we chat again,

- The Plank-Eyed Girl.

Naked, Gnarled, and Beautiful

Naked, Gnarled, and Beautiful

     A feeling of warmth and panic rose simultaneously as the Humble One’s words floated to my ears.  She had posed a question that I desperately wanted to answer “yes” to, but instead there was silence.  Moments slipped by.  The sun was just starting to warm the earth after a long, gray Spring.  My skin was beginning to warm under the bright rays as I sat there bare-legged and shoeless.  The plastic smell of the new cushions slowly filled my head.  Suddenly, realizing that moments were lapsing, I turned my eyes to hers.  I realized she was waiting patiently for my response.  Turning my eyes away, I heard myself answer, “Okay.  Are you sure you want to do this?”  She didn’t wait for my questioning.  Instantly, she sprang up and bounded toward the house.

     Moments turned into minutes as I waited for her return.  My thoughts were racing all over the inside of my heart.  “Something has changed in me.  A year ago, I would’ve really wanted to say “Yes, please” but I would’ve ended up declining this gift being offered to me through the hands of the gentle one.  Today though, I was able to barely whisper a quiet, simple “Okay”. 

     Behind me the backdoor squeaks open, then slams.  The Humble One emerges carrying a metal tub of fresh, warm water; lavender oil; and two carefully rolled white towels.  I feel myself relax. My ears take in an slight sigh, but she does not notice.  She folds herself down onto the grass, as agile as a young fawn and I place my dusty, twisted, red toe-nailed feet into the water.  The sacredness of this moment races directly to my soul.  She reaches into the tub and gently takes one of them in her hands.  As she begins washing and massaging my foot, her words are barely audible to my human ears, but seem to be coming through a loudspeaker in my heart.  Her words are beautifully strung together and seem to rise directly from the depths of her being straight to Abba’s ears.  She is speaking to her Father and I am aware that this is an unexpected gift that will leave an indelible mark on my heart forever.  As I breathe in, I can feel a warmth rising inside of me.  The panic is gone.  I am grateful for growth and the Humble One’s patience for my answer.

     Thank you Lord for the gift of this Humble One and her hands of grace and mercy being used by you, to touch a girl like me.

 

~The Plank-Eyed Girl