The Plank-Eyed Girl: Self-Hate, Beauty, and Photo Shoots

The Plank-Eyed Girl: Self-Hate, Beauty, and Photo Shoots: Nervously they appeared, one by one.  Sometimes close together, maybe even in small groups. Others silently sliding in individually, mak...

The Plank-Eyed Girl: Stone Statues; Squirrel on Steroids; and the Green...

The Plank-Eyed Girl: Stone Statues; Squirrel on Steroids; and the Green...: I should be paralyzed like a stone statue, but instead I am flitting around the room like an overgrown squirrel on steroids.   I a...

The Plank-Eyed Girl: My Personal Safe Brothel

The Plank-Eyed Girl: My Personal Safe Brothel: Bolting upright, a lump lodged in my throat, unable to make it go down or to bring it back up, I steady myself and deeply inhale.  Why...

The Plank-Eyed Girl: Roots, Confessions, and a Snake Tongue

The Plank-Eyed Girl: Roots, Confessions, and a Snake Tongue: Dawn spattering the horizon, I stand stoically at the kitchen window.  Rays as orange as the tree-ripened fruit, bounce off the humm...

Roots, Confessions, and a Snake Tongue

Dawn spattering the horizon, I stand stoically at the kitchen window.  Rays as orange as the tree-ripened fruit, bounce off the hummingbird feeder and dance across my path of vision.  The gift of an unclaimed day in front of me.  Filling my lungs with the gift of air, I hear Him whisper, "Today I will give you many gifts."

I have been in a very dark place for several weeks. Life has just plain sucked.  Various circumstances have made it difficult just to breathe.  These myriad of problems have crept into my mind without an invitation and I have carried them.   I have struggled just to get through a work day and home again.  My only prayers have started with, "Help!" "Help me not to do anything stupid." "Help me to trust you in this darkness."  "Help me to not run away."  "Help me just to stand still and wait for YOU!"  Yet, He has remained as silent as a rock.

This morning, I dress and slide into the little black thing.  

As I zip along the bay, the coolness of the morning air rushes over my skin. I have a sense of aliveness that has evaded me in recent days.  The warmth of the penetrating sun pours into my being and awakens my slumbering soul.  

Arriving at my destination, I slide out of the car and saunter into a meeting of young adult females. Instantly, I am aware of my guest status.  I am also aware that for whatever reason, today I am "listening well". Inwardly chuckling, I find a cloth covered metal frame to perch on at the table. Observing the participants, I listen to the discussion.  

In the flicker of time that it takes for a snake's tongue to taste the air, I am aware that these moments were orchestrated by My Father.  THIS is not an accident that I am sitting in THIS place listening to teaching and a conversation on  root systems and Luke eight.  

My mind races back to my college biology days and everything I know about root systems. These sound bites come dancing through my head:   

• Roots are underground and not easily viewed with the naked eye, unless they are hydroponic or in a see-through container. 
• Roots are a lifeline and 100% essential.  
• No roots = no plant. 
• Root growth is only periodic and sporadic.  
• Within a tree, there can be some roots that are active and some that are dormant.  
• Fertilizer can enhance growth when applied at appropriate times.
• During the "resting" phase or "dormancy" essential life processes continue but at a minimal  rate.   

Like a lightening bolt on a stormy day, my mind instantly seems to be infused with understanding.   This "difficult time" has been a season of dormancy for my physical circumstances, much like the season of Winter.  I have been participating as best as I could in the essential life processes to exist, but life has been cold and hard. As I ponder this realization, He gently whispers to my heart that it has also been a season of growth for my inscrutable root system. These past few weeks have certainly been darker than anything I have ever experienced.   Could it be that my Abba knew that I my root system needed a significant dose of fertilizer before this next season?  Could it be that in the darkness of the night, all my prayers that started with "Help" and seemed to bounce off of the wall were allowing my soul roots to attach even stronger to the one who is my rock?  

Roots are essential.  I can have shallow roots; widely spread out roots; or even roots that stick up out of the ground and when the storms come, I get easily uprooted, disillusioned, and just plain mad. Likewise, if I allow my roots to grow deep and anchor to the rocks, as well as other people's root systems, I will be able to stay facing Him and continue growing into a solid oak that can shelter and direct others.  What are your roots attached to?  Which way are they growing?  In the darkest hour, when you feel alone and your prayers are bouncing off the ceiling, know that the one who made you is strengthening your root system.

Until we Chat Again,

The Plank-Eyed Girl