Roots, Confessions, and a Snake Tongue

Dawn spattering the horizon, I stand stoically at the kitchen window.  Rays as orange as the tree-ripened fruit, bounce off the hummingbird feeder and dance across my path of vision.  The gift of an unclaimed day in front of me.  Filling my lungs with the gift of air, I hear Him whisper, "Today I will give you many gifts."

I have been in a very dark place for several weeks. Life has just plain sucked.  Various circumstances have made it difficult just to breathe.  These myriad of problems have crept into my mind without an invitation and I have carried them.   I have struggled just to get through a work day and home again.  My only prayers have started with, "Help!" "Help me not to do anything stupid." "Help me to trust you in this darkness."  "Help me to not run away."  "Help me just to stand still and wait for YOU!"  Yet, He has remained as silent as a rock.

This morning, I dress and slide into the little black thing.  

As I zip along the bay, the coolness of the morning air rushes over my skin. I have a sense of aliveness that has evaded me in recent days.  The warmth of the penetrating sun pours into my being and awakens my slumbering soul.  

Arriving at my destination, I slide out of the car and saunter into a meeting of young adult females. Instantly, I am aware of my guest status.  I am also aware that for whatever reason, today I am "listening well". Inwardly chuckling, I find a cloth covered metal frame to perch on at the table. Observing the participants, I listen to the discussion.  

In the flicker of time that it takes for a snake's tongue to taste the air, I am aware that these moments were orchestrated by My Father.  THIS is not an accident that I am sitting in THIS place listening to teaching and a conversation on  root systems and Luke eight.  

My mind races back to my college biology days and everything I know about root systems. These sound bites come dancing through my head:   

• Roots are underground and not easily viewed with the naked eye, unless they are hydroponic or in a see-through container. 
• Roots are a lifeline and 100% essential.  
• No roots = no plant. 
• Root growth is only periodic and sporadic.  
• Within a tree, there can be some roots that are active and some that are dormant.  
• Fertilizer can enhance growth when applied at appropriate times.
• During the "resting" phase or "dormancy" essential life processes continue but at a minimal  rate.   

Like a lightening bolt on a stormy day, my mind instantly seems to be infused with understanding.   This "difficult time" has been a season of dormancy for my physical circumstances, much like the season of Winter.  I have been participating as best as I could in the essential life processes to exist, but life has been cold and hard. As I ponder this realization, He gently whispers to my heart that it has also been a season of growth for my inscrutable root system. These past few weeks have certainly been darker than anything I have ever experienced.   Could it be that my Abba knew that I my root system needed a significant dose of fertilizer before this next season?  Could it be that in the darkness of the night, all my prayers that started with "Help" and seemed to bounce off of the wall were allowing my soul roots to attach even stronger to the one who is my rock?  

Roots are essential.  I can have shallow roots; widely spread out roots; or even roots that stick up out of the ground and when the storms come, I get easily uprooted, disillusioned, and just plain mad. Likewise, if I allow my roots to grow deep and anchor to the rocks, as well as other people's root systems, I will be able to stay facing Him and continue growing into a solid oak that can shelter and direct others.  What are your roots attached to?  Which way are they growing?  In the darkest hour, when you feel alone and your prayers are bouncing off the ceiling, know that the one who made you is strengthening your root system.

Until we Chat Again,

The Plank-Eyed Girl

Secrets to Swimming With a Shiver of Sharks

Sweet sun syrup drenching my skin. Laughter wafts through the air as frigid water explodes overhead and unexpectedly falls in torrents over the guests. Beautiful melodic languages dance between humans. Pure and simple delight abounds in this moment.

I am perched on the edge of a magnificent fountain savoring this precious moment.   I am being rocked into a trans-like state by all that is good and right around me.  I exhale.  My heart is full and I am content.

Like a loudspeaker inside my heart, my mind suddenly booms forth the fact that this is ONLY a momentary reprieve from the shiver of sharks that have been my constant companion these last six weeks. 

This has been a "season" of learning the secrets of swimming with a shiver of sharks. Some of the sharks are named "Disappointment", "Doubt",  and "Discouragement".  If you have never swam with sharks, you probably don't know that they circle their prey before deciding if and when to take a bite.  They can rough you up through their curiosity by bumping into you and knocking you around a bit before deciding to taste you.  They like the cover of cloudy water. Their mealtimes are the early morning or as the sun is setting.  

Unfortunately Disappointment, Doubt and Discouragement do the same thing.  I have found their feeding times are when I lack clarity and are either exhausted or not fully awake.  These past six weeks I have been repeatedly peppered with plans going awry; everything from canceled bike rides; to my car being hit and undriveable; to no trip to India in August.  The disappointments have been multi-leveled and have come fast and furious on some days.  During times of physical and emotional exhaustion, I have been stippled with doubts about who I am and what I am called to do. Often in the middle of the night, I have been awoken only to realize that I am securely tucked in by a blanket of discouragement at the realization of my circumstances. With each bump and blow from  this shiver of ravenous sharks, I have discovered three secrets.  These have allowed me not to be consumed by my predators. 

Suddenly, my camera captures "Flying Child". I hear my Abba whisper, "Watch her."  I follow her through my lense. Her initial reaction when the water first exploded over her was one of electrifying shock.  (Oh how well I know this feeling.) Seconds afterwards, a giggle erupts from her belly and she takes off flying. Her clothes are drenched.  Her hair is matted to her face.  Her lips are moving.  She has chosen to embrace this moment as a gift.  She looks as if she is singing. Instantly, I am aware that she knows the same secrets that I do:
#1  I am not in charge of anything,
#2  I can choose my response.
#3  I get to choose my heart attitude.

Then my Creator softly announces, "I chose this moment for her and I have chosen all of those unexpected moments for you.  I hold you in the palm of my hand and nothing can touch you except what I have orchestrated." 

May you embrace the unexpected difficult moments in your life with the realization that YOU are NOT in charge, but... YOU do get to choose YOUR response and YOUR heart attitude. 

Together, may we choose wisely.


Until We Chat Again,
The Plank-Eyed Girl

Earth-Pod Girl

24 hours has never seemed like a long time to me, but yesterday it was.  Yesterday, I was cranky, discouraged, and frustrated.  Really not a good combination for anyone.  Honestly, I didn't really have any reason to feel this way.  I was telling myself to snap out of it.  I was explaining to my head that I had the gift of life, shelter, food, clothing, etc., but my heart was just not listening to my head.  I hate that when it happens.  It was just a storm in my heart that seemed to be raging.  I am glad that most of the time I don't deal with this kind of thing.  

I managed to get myself to work.  I even managed to get myself to worship.  (Where I am currently working on the Big Island, we have a fabulous all campus worship time on Monday morning.)  As worship drew to a close, I was completely unaware of the delightful surprise that awaited me in the next few moments.  As worship was nearing the end, I slide my feet into cushy flip-flops and proceeded to saunter back towards the kitchen.  That is when I encountered her again.  Earth-Pod Girl.  I had met her on Saturday.  In fact, we had even sat in a volcanic formed tide pool for over an hour and she spoke of her past; her passions; her heartbreak; and her desire for more of God.  I was enthralled with this amazing girl's story.  She was smart, plucky, fun, and wounded.  You see, we share a passion for using the world's trash in reusable ways to help the poor.  In particular, she wants to use recycled trash to build "earth-pod"  structures for the poor of the world to live in.  As we had parted our ways on Saturday, I wondered if I would have an opportunity to chat with her again.  Little did I know what God had in store.  

On this morning, as I departed the Ohana Court, Earth-Pod girl planted herself in front of me.  With a silly grin on her face and a floppy straw hat on her head, she said, "I want to encourage you this morning.  Can I pray for you?"  I just looked at her and heard myself say, "Sure."  Sometimes I am amazed at myself and just how detached I am.  Anyway, she started praying.  Well...really she was proclaiming what she was seeing in her heart and what the Lord was whispering to her ears.  She spoke in fragments, pausing as if listening for the next bit of words.  Each fragment she spoke pierced my heart and deflated the discouragement that had implanted itself and taken over.  Her words chased the crankiness out of the chambers where it had lodged and taken root.  Mostly though, her words took the pieces of my frustration and seemed to rearrange them in a way that let me get a glimpse of where the Lord and I are journeying.  

Thank you Earth-Pod girl for helping this Plank-Eyed Girl.

Enjoy the gift of today.  You never know when God will place someone in front of you.

Until we chat again,

Plank-Eyed Girl