Secrets to Swimming With a Shiver of Sharks

Sweet sun syrup drenching my skin. Laughter wafts through the air as frigid water explodes overhead and unexpectedly falls in torrents over the guests. Beautiful melodic languages dance between humans. Pure and simple delight abounds in this moment.

I am perched on the edge of a magnificent fountain savoring this precious moment.   I am being rocked into a trans-like state by all that is good and right around me.  I exhale.  My heart is full and I am content.

Like a loudspeaker inside my heart, my mind suddenly booms forth the fact that this is ONLY a momentary reprieve from the shiver of sharks that have been my constant companion these last six weeks. 

This has been a "season" of learning the secrets of swimming with a shiver of sharks. Some of the sharks are named "Disappointment", "Doubt",  and "Discouragement".  If you have never swam with sharks, you probably don't know that they circle their prey before deciding if and when to take a bite.  They can rough you up through their curiosity by bumping into you and knocking you around a bit before deciding to taste you.  They like the cover of cloudy water. Their mealtimes are the early morning or as the sun is setting.  

Unfortunately Disappointment, Doubt and Discouragement do the same thing.  I have found their feeding times are when I lack clarity and are either exhausted or not fully awake.  These past six weeks I have been repeatedly peppered with plans going awry; everything from canceled bike rides; to my car being hit and undriveable; to no trip to India in August.  The disappointments have been multi-leveled and have come fast and furious on some days.  During times of physical and emotional exhaustion, I have been stippled with doubts about who I am and what I am called to do. Often in the middle of the night, I have been awoken only to realize that I am securely tucked in by a blanket of discouragement at the realization of my circumstances. With each bump and blow from  this shiver of ravenous sharks, I have discovered three secrets.  These have allowed me not to be consumed by my predators. 

Suddenly, my camera captures "Flying Child". I hear my Abba whisper, "Watch her."  I follow her through my lense. Her initial reaction when the water first exploded over her was one of electrifying shock.  (Oh how well I know this feeling.) Seconds afterwards, a giggle erupts from her belly and she takes off flying. Her clothes are drenched.  Her hair is matted to her face.  Her lips are moving.  She has chosen to embrace this moment as a gift.  She looks as if she is singing. Instantly, I am aware that she knows the same secrets that I do:
#1  I am not in charge of anything,
#2  I can choose my response.
#3  I get to choose my heart attitude.

Then my Creator softly announces, "I chose this moment for her and I have chosen all of those unexpected moments for you.  I hold you in the palm of my hand and nothing can touch you except what I have orchestrated." 

May you embrace the unexpected difficult moments in your life with the realization that YOU are NOT in charge, but... YOU do get to choose YOUR response and YOUR heart attitude. 

Together, may we choose wisely.


Until We Chat Again,
The Plank-Eyed Girl

Zumba Dancing Filipino Grandma

Clearing security, my mind jolts awake to the realization that I need to locate a birthday card for "The Precious One".  Weaving through humanity, I locate a bank of cards and start perusing the selection. That is when I notice the clerk.  Trying not to have facial dysplasia, I continue looking at the selection while sneaking peeks at this fragile, Zumba dancing Filipino grandma who is the clerk. I can feel a gigantic giggle wiggling it's way up from my belly, but knowing that allowing it to escape would be entirely socially inappropriate, I manage to turn it into a mini coughing attack.

She approaches me and with a wave of her hand pronounces me "Strong!"  At first, my mind zings over and lands on the idea that this must be a cultural way to telling me that "I'm FAT!"  Ugh! My mind is screaming, "This is NOT what I need right now!"

I rise from the rack of card and look her squarely in the face.  Instantly, my heart knows that this was not what she meant.  We connect.  A lonely, Filipino elderly grandma, working on her feet to make her social security stretch and a middle-aged mocha girl off for a frivolous six day adventure before her vacation.  Honestly, probably couldn't be more opposite.

I turn the rest of my body to face her.  In her best broken English she says, "Your body is strong and that is a gift.  My body is weak and I am in pain." She smiles a toothy smile at me.  I can't help myself, I smile back.  We stand facing each other.  I can tell she is searching for more words.  I wait.  Reaching out my hand, I offer her money for my purchase.  She touches my hand and looks at me.  We are both women.  We both have different shades of deliciousful brown skin.  Our paths have crossed for these few seconds on this summer day.  

Methodically she counts back the change.  I accept it and turn to leave.  My heart yells, "Not Yet!" Quickly I turn back to face her, I hear the words leave my lips, "Thank You!"

Sliding quickly into the human freeway that runs north and south through the main concourse of this international airport, I rush toward the N gates. There is no time to spare.  I reach the plane and drop into my seat.  That is when my Abba whispers, "Remember, you are strong!  I am WITH you!"  

Arriving, I find "The Precious One" in a desperate state.  Once again, I am physically alone it feels like I am standing at the edge of a vast desert facing the Red Sea with no visible signs of help.  I am perched on a hard wooden bench at the edge of the golf course. Through a flood of prolific tears, I am crying out to my Abba for help. The sun is slipping over the edge of the earth.  I am unable to breath and have run out of "Puffs with Lotion".  Suddenly, the Lord reminds me of the Zumba Dancing Filipino grandma and her words to me.  Something loosens in my chest.  I rise from the bench; find the path and head back to "The Precious One's" house. Moments later, two neighbors appear on the path. They call to me.  I pause and we chit chat.  Turns out they have served with YWAM in Kona.  I LOVE how my Abba provides.  The conversation didn't solve the problem I was facing, but it brought me hope.  God knows what is going on and can be trusted to show up.  He is good all the time like that.  Trust me, I know....He does not abandon.  

Until We Chat Again,

The Plank-Eyed Girl

5My steps have stayed on your path;  I have not wavered from following you.  6I am praying to you because I know you will answer, O God.  Bend down and listen as I pray.  7Show me your unfailing love in wonderful ways. (Psalms 17:5-7 NLT)